I actually wanted to write before 2012 ended but, in a flurry of more important things to do, forgot. Anyway, who says you have to look back on a year at its very end? January 2 of the following year is as good as any to do that, I guess.
2012. The best of times and the worst of times. The best: a little boy came into this world and brought us immeasurable joy. The worst: I'd rather not say. Let's just say it was really bad, one of the worst things that can happen to a person--so bad that I secretly think I'm such an awesome person for having survived it. Funnily enough, one of the things that got me through it was thinking, "At least I don't have multiple sclerosis," which I know isn't the absolute worst thing in the world but has been on my mind for most of the year (because of work--thankfully, no one I know has it).
2013. I was going to say: of course it's going to be better than 2012--how can it be worse? But of course it can, just like 2012 could have been so much worse. There's a line that I kept thinking about in the past few months: I know God wouldn't give me anything I couldn't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much. But yes, things could have been so much worse, and for that I am utterly grateful. It really isn't I who's awesome--it's the people and the things and the graces that have propped me up when my knees buckled with burden. Thank God for them.
And, really, there's so much to be thankful for, most of all my family, who have been just incredible. No words can do justice to the help and support and unconditional love that I've gotten from my mother, my father, and my sister. And of course:
Here's to a brighter, better year (hopefully with more blog posts) ahead.
2 comments:
I love you! :)
That saying " we are not given anything we can't handle" sometimes feel like a whole load of crap. Especially when we are in the midst of crisis. Because if there is anything we feel at that exact moment it is exactly crap and anything but strength. But we do break through. In whatever form through the various people we gather strength from. And when people say, "One day you will look back and laugh at it (whatever 'it' means)" , we do look forward to that day. Kung pwede pa lang i fast forward to that day. Anyhow, I am rambling here. I am happy for your joy. What a beautiful little boy you have! I am happy you have overcome what you have overcome. Ironically, I will end my comment saying, "Indeed what they say is true-- God does not give us burdens we are incapable of carrying. :) Happy New Year! I always find myself reveling in your posts. Do post some more. Your words and the insights are beautiful. :)
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