Thursday, July 31, 2014

#day94 #100happydays #TunayNaLigaya

If I could, I would give you a world where people are sincere and honest and kind, where the people you expect to protect you and love you would give their very lives to do so. If only I could. But no matter what, little boy, you have me. Always.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Fun fact:
Life can stab you in an unlimited number of ways.

#day93 #100happydays #TunayNaLigaya

My name is Ligaya Solera.

I crop photos for therapy. It isn't always a clean crop and I often don't end up intact, but I am able to retain the essence of who I am, who I've always been, and who I've always wanted to be.

I don't wear make-up. My hair, when long, is almost always in an artless ponytail. Even in photo shoots. I'm a simple person. My arms are rounder than I would like them to be, but I like to think that helps me carry a 10+-kg kid for prolonged periods of time.

I don't look as young as I used to. I've grown older by 20 years in the last 2 years but that's okay. Those extra years can be cropped too. I'm still a kid in many ways and someday I'll believe in fairy tales again.

There are people in the world with bigger problems than mine. I would prefer not to have a problem that can only be solved by a miracle and/or P300,000 + paperwork + court appearances + traumatic testimonies + lots of legal stuff and red tape and what-not -- but I will take it.

There are days when it takes more effort to be happy. There are days when I am close to forgetting. There are days when I'm not okay. There are days when it's easy to feel blessed. There are days I wonder why my life has come to be like this, but there are days I remember that that is not the question.

I am Ligaya Solera, and I will be fine.

Monday, July 28, 2014

It's become the kind of life where a question such as "How are you?" leaves me speechless. And the fact that it comes from who it comes from -- surreal. Maybe the end of days is upon us.

Yesterday, while attending a children's party, an old classmate asked me where Aivan was and I stumbled through my reply. I could have said he was doing "overtime" -- which is what he calls everything, anyway, much like he calls everyone "Alison" -- but I'm not used to having to lie and, unlike my husband, I'm not good at it. And I don't want to do it.

I really should come up with a stock answer for these kinds of questions. Nalumos sa sabaw? Sumakabilang-bahay?

Shame. Pain. Betrayal. I guess I led too charmed a life in my early years and the universe decided some balance was in order.

#day91 #100happydays #TunayNaLigaya

Happiness is a choice we make everyday, to look not at what we've lost but what we have.